


I Hold On

by Avidreader6



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bow cases, Chocolate, Clint Barton's bow, First Kiss, Get Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Reminiscing, So much kissing, lucky - Freeform, pizza dog - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:21:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11425467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avidreader6/pseuds/Avidreader6
Summary: Clint holds onto the things that are important. His old bow, Lucky, and a special case from someone important.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheGirlInTheB](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlInTheB/gifts).



> A day late, but Happy Birthday to the awesome E!!!

Clint had been looking for the remote to the TV when he came across the case. It was tucked behind the bookshelf, and abandoning his search for the remote, Clint pulled the case out and set it on the coffee table. It was still in good condition, the sealed and polished wood keeping out moisture and dust just as it was supposed to. Clint ran his hand over the smooth, shining surface and smiled before opening it and looking at the bow nestled securely inside.

He hadn’t really thought about the case itself since Phil had given it to him. He’d been with SHIELD for almost a year then, and Phil’s explanation had been that he was tired of watching Clint carry his bow around everywhere, unwilling to let anyone touch it. 

Back then, Phil had still just been Coulson. When he’d called Clint into his office, Clint had been sure it had been about his disagreement in the armory. Clint was prepared for the usual reprimand to be added to his file as well as the discussion that followed about arguing with senior agents. Instead, Coulson had just reassured him with that half smile he always seemed to use on Clint in those early days (and still used even now when Clint was being ridiculous) and pulled the case out from behind his desk.

Clint had nudged the dark wood case with his foot and stared at Coulson. “What is this?”

Coulson turned his attention to the paperwork on his desk. “A case for your bow.”

“Why?” 

“I thought that would have been obvious, Agent Barton.”

“It’s not to me.” Clint ran his hand over his bow, trying to reign in his nerves fingering the smooth wood, calluses catching on the nicks and grooves. 

Eyes still on the floor, Clint watched Coulson through his lashes. He’d set his pen down and was studying Clint. Clint could see the wheels turning in his handler’s head trying to find the best way to say what he needed to say. 

“I wanted you to have a way of storing your bow so you don’t have to worry about it being damaged.” Coulson waited a beat and added, eyes boring in Clint’s. “And so you don’t have to worry about leaving it out while we’re on missions or about people touching it. You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to, but the case is yours regardless.”

Clint had bristled a bit. He hadn’t been aware that Coulson had noticed his aversion to people touching his stuff. He’d been sure he’d kept that pretty well hidden. He knew the people at SHIELD were trustworthy, but keeping a close eye on his stuff was a hard habit to break after seeing the sticky fingers at the circus. 

Lifting the case onto Coulson’s desk, Clint opened it and barely managed to suppress his awed gasp seeing the purple felt inside. He carefully unstrung his bow and fitted it inside and closed the case. 

Looking up at Coulson, Clint tried to find any clue about why his handler would give him such a beautiful case rather than one of the basic black plastic things used in the armory. Clint had been offered cases all the time for his bow, but he hadn’t taken them. Betsy had never quite fit in those cases and Clint didn’t trust that she wouldn’t be damaged. 

“Why are you giving me this?’

As usual, when it came to Clint, there was only a slight crinkling at the corners of his eyes as Coulson smiled. “Like I told you, Agent Barton, so you would have a secure place to store your bow while you are on missions or when you don’t need it.” 

Aware that was the only answer he was likely to get, Clint grabbed the case, ready to go back to his quarters. He still wasn’t sure what to think about all this, Coulson had but it was a nice case and Cint was glad that Betsy would be protected. “Is there anything else, boss?”

“No, that’s all, Agent Barton.”

Pausing in Coulson’s door, Clint looked at the man he’d come to admire and care for. “Thanks, Coulson.” 

Before Clint could venture further down memory lane, there was a knock at his door followed by Lucky barking to inform him further of the visitor. 

Padding over to the door, Clint pulled it open knowing who was waiting on the other side. 

“Do you always just open your door without looking?”

Clint let the smirk grow on his lips. “Why? You planning on robbing me blind?”

Phil’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “What would I steal? The leftovers in the fridge? The coffee?”

Lucky came and sat at Clint’s side, leaning his shoulder into his owner's leg. “What? And leave poor Luck here to fend for himself?”

Phil handed over the pizza he’d brought and knelt down. “Wouldn’t be stealing if Lucky went with me willingly, isn’t that right, boy?”

Loping over to Phil, Lucky eagerly submitted to being pet, even rolling over to beg for a belly rub. 

“Such a traitor. No loyalty at all. I expect this from Kate, but not my own dog.”

Phil started to laugh and Clint just watched him for a moment, letting the cheerful sound fill the room. He loved being one of the few who could truly make Phil genuinely laugh. Especially when it made his entire being seem lighter and he would get those little crinkles at the corners of his eyes (Clint adored those crinkles). The first time he’d really made Phil laugh, Clint had been in complete shock seeing his handler exuding such joy. After that, Clint had been determined to make it happen as often as possible. 

“Clint?”

“Huh?” Clint had gotten lost watching Phil with Lucky and hadn’t heard a single word he’d said. Phil stood up and looked at Clint. His eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed as if trying to figure out what was going on in Clint’s head. 

Clint’s thoughts were currently full of how good Phil looked. He was still wearing his usual suit, but he’d lost the tie and his collar was unbuttoned just enough to show off the hollow of Phil’s throat. There was also a tantalizing glimpse of chest hair and Clint wasn’t sure how he was supposed to pay attention when Phil looked so relaxed and soft.

Phil was standing closer to him now and Clint had to fight not to blush. “I asked if you’re ready to catch up on Dog Cops?”

“Oh, right. I’m ready! I’ve got them all queued up and if we’re feeling up to it, I recorded some of those awful reality shows you like.” Clint winced slightly as he heard the hopeful note in his voice. 

Phil, on the other hand, either hadn’t heard the want in Clint’s voice or was ignoring it. “You know you don’t have to record those for me, right?”

Rolling his eyes, Clint walked into the living room with the pizza. “I know, Phil. But since we meet up to watch Dog Cops anyway, I thought we could just watch both our shows.” He pointed to the fridge and before Phil could say anything, asked, “grab the beer?” 

Clint didn’t have to look to know Phil had gone into the kitchen and retrieved the beer. He hopped over the back of the couch and carefully moved the bow case to the floor, setting the pizza box in its place. Clint did have to laugh, though, when Phil dropped a stack of paper plates in his lap. 

“We’re not eating out of the box.”

“Aw, Phil. But dishes.”

Phil set their beer on the table and shrugged out of his jacket before taking a seat in his usual corner. “One, they're paper plates, so no actual dishes. And two, use them and I’ll give you the treat I brought back from my last mission.”

“You brought me a treat?” Clint beamed at Phil and playfully batted his eyelashes as he handed him a plate.

The tips of Phil’s ears went a little pink as Clint’s eyes traveled over him. “You can have it after we eat.”

Taking a bite of pizza, Clint sighed. “Fine.” 

They ate in silence for a minute before Phil poked Clint with his foot. “Are we going to watch the show with our minds? Or did you cut the cords again?”

“Shit! I was looking for the remote when you showed up.” Clint looked around the room. “I still don’t know where it is. Pretty sure it became sentient after Tony was here and it has now run away.” 

Phil chuckled softly. “While I wouldn’t put a sentient remote past Stark, I don’t think that’s what happened.” Reaching between the cushions, Phil produced the remote. 

He tossed it to Clint and grabbed another slice. Clint just stared dumbly at Phil and started the show before grabbing his third slice. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“How do you always seem to know where everything is. Are you sure you’re not a mutant?”

Phil dropped his crust down to Lucky and arched an eyebrow up at Clint. “I’m not a mutant, I’ve been tested. And usually, I just try and put things back where they’re supposed to go.” But in this case, I know you finished your mission two days ago and you’re usually too keyed up to sleep the first night back, so you would have camped out on the couch with Lucky. Pretty easy to figure out the remote would be here.”

“Aww, Phil, you know me so well.” 

Lucky let out a soft bark and laid his head on Phil’s thigh. Phil scratched him behind the ears while Clint put a slice of pizza on a plate and set it on the floor for him. Smelling the pizza on the floor, Lucky abandoned Phil in favor of his own dinner.

“That can’t be good for him.”

Clint reached down and patted Lucky on the back. “He’s got one eye and has saved me more than once, he can have whatever he wants.”

Lucky was licking the plate clean and Phil settled further into the couch, one arm stretching out along the back as he sipped his beer. “I guess I can’t fault your logic.”

It sent a little thrill watching Phil relax on his couch. He looked so at home and happy and Clint’s imagination wanted to explore other ways they could make Phil look that way. Clint stopped that train of thought before it could leave the station and grabbed another beer. “You really can’t, Phil. It’s sound.” 

They made it through all of the Dog Cops episodes Clint had saved and had finished off the beer when Phil asked. “What’s with the case?”

Clint had seen Phil’s eyes dart to the bow case multiple times during the night and had been wondering when he would finally ask. “Found it when I was looking for the remote.” Unsure what was going to happen,” Clint tried to focus on pulling up the shows he’d recorded for Phil. “Ready for the next one?”

There was silence for almost a minute and then Phil asked, “Why’d you keep it?”

“The case or the bow?”

Phil thought a moment and looked Clint in the eye. “Both.”

Clint lifted the case onto the table and opened it. Inside, his bow was still beautiful and, while she was a little beat up, Clint had made sure to take care of her. Lifting the unstrung bow from the case, Clint’s fingers caressed the sealed wood, before settling on the grip. 

When he’d first been given the bow, he’d just stared at her with big eyes, unbelieving that she was his. He’d been given a very thorough lesson in taking care of her, and Clint had made sure to follow every bit of that lesson. He’d spent hours after unstringing her to check for any damage and he’d carefully oiled and sealed her before putting her away with the rest of the bows. 

“Well, Betsy here was the bow I performed with. After everything went down with Barney and Trickshot, one of the acrobats brought it to me in the hospital. She’s been with me through pretty much everything. Even when all I had was the clothes on my back and nothing but a few bucks in my pocket, I had her and a way to make some money.”

“Betsy?”

Clint flicked a bottle cap at Phil, who caught it before it could hit him. “Lola?” 

“Touche.” Phil tossed the bottle cap back. “Why Betsy though?”

Rolling the bottle cap along the tops of his knuckles, Clint felt his lips curve up. “First crush. She was the daughter of the horse trainer. Never looked at me twice.” Clint flipped the cap high up in the air and caught it without looking. “Almost changed the name to Georgie when my eyes wandered to the Strongman’s son.”

Phil bit his lip. “Did you and him, I mean, was there ever…”

“Was there ever anything between me and George?”

“Yes, I mean..” Phil started to mess with the cuffs of his shirt, unbuttoning them and rolling them up in what Clint recognized as a nervous gesture. “If you feel like sharing. You don’t have to.”

Clint felt his heart speed up a little watching him try and precisely roll up his sleeves. Phil was rarely flustered and seeing him so fidgety at the thought of Clint with another boy was a little endearing. 

“We shared a few kisses but that was it. We both quickly realized it was fun, but nothing serious. He ended up with some girl from one of the towns we visited.”

“So your bow stayed, Betsy?”

“Yeah. She’s always helped me get through.” 

They were both quiet for a few minutes after that. Clint’s fingers continued moving over the bow and he could feel Phil watching the motions, another question on his lips. 

“Go ahead and ask, Phil.”

“What?”

“I know you have another question. Go ahead and ask.”

“Why did you keep the case? I gave it to you years ago. You could have found something different.”

Clint slid over on the sofa to be closer to Phil and settled a hand on Phil’s leg, squeezing gently. “You really can’t figure that one out?”

“N-no?”

Clint kept his hand on Phil’s leg, a little worried that if he were to let go, Phil might bolt. “Well, other than the obvious fact that it’s a beautiful case. You’re the person who gave it to me, Phil.”

“What do you mean, Clint?”

“Do you know how many times Matt in the armory offered me a case?”

“He did?”

Clint huffed out a short laugh. “He did, but they were never right. The one time Matt himself tried to get my girl in a case, I damn near had a heart attack.” Phil leaned into Clint a little, and Clint gave his knee another squeeze. “When you called me into your office that day, I thought for sure it was about how I yanked Betsy out of Matt’s hands and argued with him. Instead, you had this beautiful case for me. A case that you had clearly purchased with me in mind.”

“Well, you needed a case.” Clint’s thumb starting moving in soft circles over Phil’s knee. “I didn’t know about the argument. Matt never told me.”

Clint shrugged. “We worked it out after. There were no hard feelings.”

“I’m glad. Now explain why the case coming from me mattered.”

“Because of the thought, you put into it. The purple felt and the beautiful wood. You were one of the first people to have faith in me and believe that I could be a SHIELD agent and do it well. Phil, when you gave me that case, I hoped that maybe you felt about me the way I feel about you. When you didn’t say anything, and just let me take the case and go, I thought I must have been wrong.”

Clint let go of Phil’s leg and started to move away, suddenly feeling exposed. Phil didn’t let him get far, though, grabbing his wrist. “Feel?” 

“Fuck. Can we forget I said that.”

Phil’s hand tightened on Clint’s wrist. “And if I don’t want to forget?”

“Phil?” Clint searched Phil’s face, wanting to believe the earnestness he saw there.

“What if I have feelings too?”

Moving back into Phil’s space, Clint rested his forehead against Phil’s and closed his eyes. “Then, we should do something about that.”

Clint opened his eyes when he felt Phil’s cup his cheek, thumb feathering lightly over his skin. The first brush of Phil’s lips against his sent a jolt through him. He whined at the light kiss and pressed forward for a second kiss. 

Phil’s hand slid into Clint’s hair, fingers tangling in soft dirty blond strands, as he deepened the kiss. Phil pressed forward and teased at Clint’s lips with his own, using his grip on Clint’s hair to pull him closer. 

Clint got his arms around Phil’s waist, fingers grasping at his shirt, trying to pull it from his pants. At the first touch of callused fingers to bare skin, Phil gasped and moaned. “Clint!” 

Clint kissed the corner of Phil’s mouth. “Yes?”

Moving away from Clint, Phil ran a hand through his own hair. “We’re going to do this, right? Me and you? Together. Dates and all that?”

Clint gave Phil one of his charming crooked smiles. “I really hope so. I’ve always known you weren’t a one-night thing, Phil.” 

Phil smiled back, blue eyes shining bright. “Good. Now come here.”

Crawling into Phil’s lap, Clint nuzzled into Phil’s neck. “Is this my treat?”

Phil started to laugh. “It can be if you don’t want that Belgian chocolate I brought back that you like so much.”

Clint wriggled in Phil’s lap “Chocolate?”

“It’s in my jacket pocket.”

Clint’s eyes darted over to to the chair Phil had tossed his jacket on. He kissed Phil one more time, hard, before going to fetch the jacket. He found the chocolate in the breast pocket and held it to his nose. “You bring me the best things, Phil.” 

Grabbing Clint’s free hand, Phil pulled him back on the couch and kissed his neck. “When it makes you smile like that, what choice do I have?”

Opening the chocolate, Clint broke off a piece and held it to Phil’s lips. Phil took it, tongue licking any trace amounts of chocolate from the pads of Clint’s fingers. “How would you feel about sharing this in bed?”

Phil licked his lips and tapped Clint on the thigh so they could both stand. “I have very positive feelings about that.”


	2. The Smutty Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says in the title, just some smut for our boys.

Phil followed Clint back to his bedroom, smiling when Clint kicked the door shut. Clint brushed a kiss over Phil’s cheek. “Don't want Lucky getting any ideas about joining us.”

Hauling Clint closer, Phil slipped his hands under Clint’s shirt and traced the contours of his back while he stole a kiss of his own. Clint’s arms came around his shoulders and Phil felt as though he could live forever in this moment. He was surrounded by Clint and kissing, and tasting him was heaven. 

Hands traveling lower to get a feel of the firm muscle of Clint’s ass, Phil gave a squeeze, delighting in the moan it pulled from his archer. “Can’t wait to have you under me, Clint. The things I want to do to you.”

Phil could feel Clint smiling against his neck. “Tell me more, Phil. I’ve been dreaming about this for years.”

Phil started to talk, telling Clint every dirty fantasy he’d had about the two of them together in a low voice. He could feel the hard length of Clint’s erection against his thigh and the more he talked, the more Clint’s hips started to shift and move against him searching for friction. Phil walked them back to the bed until Clint’s knees hit the mattress and he sat. 

Looking up at Phil through his lashes, Clint’s mouth shifted into a smirk. He leaned forward and nuzzled into Phil’s pants, softly mouthing Phil’s cock. “Trying to tell me something, Phil?”

Clint started to suck lightly at the tip of Phil’s cock while his hands went to Phil’s belt. “Yes, Clint. Don’t stop.”

While Clint worked on his pants, Phil unbuttoned his shirt and let it slide off his arms to the floor. Once his chest was bared, Phil could feel Clint watching him. He knelt on the edge of the bed, eyes on Phil’s as one hand hovered over the scar, fingers twitching, wanting to touch. 

“Phil? Does it ever?”

Taking Clint’s hand in his, Phil kissed the center of Clint’s palm. “Does it ever hurt?” Clint nodded and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. “Not anymore.”

“Good.” There was relief in Clint’s voice and when he laid his hand over the scar, Phil thought he could feel a slight tremor in his hand. 

Laying his hand over Clint’s, Phil stroked the top with his thumb and smiled. “How come I’m the only one undressed here?”

Clint’s eyes darkened and he quickly stripped so that both he and Phil were in their briefs. “Better?” 

“Much.” Phil closed the distance between them and took Clint’s mouth, tongue sweeping inside. Clint just groaned and held onto Phil, submitting to the kiss and letting Phil take charge.

Phil pushed Clint back and knelt on the bed with him. He kissed him one more time and pointed at the pillows. “Lie back for me, Clint.”

Clint let himself fall back on the pillows and stuck his arms behind his head so Phil could get a good look at the broad, tanned expanse of his chest and stomach. 

Settling between Clint’s leg, Phil looked his fill, drinking in every exposed inch of Clint. Clint started to fidget a little on the bed, clearly wanting Phil to do something. “Phil! Stop looking and touch me.” 

Phil’s fingers danced over Clint’s thighs until he reached the edge of his briefs where he toyed with the hem. “Patience is a virtue, Clint.”

As Phil’s touch moved closer to where Clint wanted it most, he arched up off the bed. “We’ve been patient for years now.”

“You’re not wrong, there.” Phil took hold of Clint’s cock and gave a few strokes. He kissed his way up Clint’s stomach to his chest, stopping briefly to suck each nipple to a hard peak in turn. Clint groaned and started to move his hips in time with Phil’s hand. “Beautiful, Clint.” 

Phil barely felt the touch on his arm before he was on his back and Clint’s body was covering his. “I was planning on-” Before Phil could get more out, Clint’s mouth was on his, hips rutting against him. 

“Hush.” Clint nipped at Phil’s jaw, hands moving to get his briefs off. “Want you. Want to feel your skin on mine.” 

Another groan escaped Clint’s mouth as Phil helped get them both naked. They were a mess of tangled lips and they both kissed wherever they could reach, wanting to find every sensitive spot. It was Phil who took their cocks in hand and thrust. “Yes, Clint. Just like that.” 

Face buried in Phil’s neck, Clint found the sensitive spot on Phil’s collarbone with his lips and sucked a mark there as he rocked against him. “Fuck, Phil. I’m close.” 

Phil could feel he was as well. The slick slide of Clint’s cock against his felt fantastic. He dragged his free hand through Clint’s hair and tugged so he could look into Clint’s eyes. “Me too. So close.” 

It was only a few more strokes before Phil was coming with a drawn out groan. Clint followed him soon after, catching Phil’s lips for a bruising kiss as he spurted over Phil’s stomach. 

Breathing hard, Clint rolled off of Phil and lay beside him. He turned his head just enough to kiss Phil’s shoulder. “That was amazing.” 

Phil smiled and turned his head to look at Clint. “It really was.” Rolling onto his side, Phil propped his head on his hand and rest his hand on Clint’s chest. He could feel Clint’s heart racing and his own was doing the same. “You’re gorgeous when you come, Clint.” 

Twin spots of red appeared on Clint’s cheeks. “So were you, Phil.” Clint pulled Phil on top of him and just held him, as they both came down from their orgasms. “You’re going to stay, right?”

Wrapping his arms around Clint, Phil smiled. “If you want me to.”

“I do.” Clint reluctantly let go of Phil and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ll be right back. Gonna grab a towel for us both.”

Phil rolled onto his back, exhaustion beginning to sweep through him. He jerked and opened his eyes when he felt the damp towel hit his chest. He cleaned himself off and tossed it back to Clint, who tossed it into the bathroom. When Clint didn’t get back in bed, Phil whined a little and reached out for him.

“Clint, get over here.” Clint stayed where he was, a silly smile on his face. Phil felt something else hit him in the chest and when he looked down he started to laugh. It was the chocolate he’d brought back. 

Climbing onto the bed with Phil, Clint laid his head on Phil’s shoulder and took the chocolate. He broke off a small piece for himself and one for Phil. “After sex snack?”

Phil popped the chocolate into his mouth and hummed in pleasure as the sweetness hit his tongue. “Perfect.” 

Letting his own piece melt on his tongue, Clint snuggled closer to Phil, eyes drifting closed. “So perfect.”


End file.
